Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a King and Queen.
Queen: Oh Calvin, I wish we had a child. I would just love to have a baby girl.
King: Yes, Elizabeth, I agree.
Narrator: 9 months later....
Prince: WAAA! WAAA!
King: It's a ... It's a... BOY!?
Queen: Well, we'll just have to put up with him.
Narrator: 25 years later
Queen: I just can't take it anymore! He's never on time!
King: And he never cleans his room!
Queen: We never know where he is!
King: And he never cleans his room!
Queen: He's always off with his friends slaying some dragon and never tell us!
King: AND HE NEVER CLEANS HIS ROOM!
Queen: And he never cleans his room!
Prince: Sorry I'm late mom, but that last dragon was a doozie!
Queen: That's it! Call the royal fairy!
Servant: Rosalyn! The Queen wants you!
Rosalyn the Fairy: You called your majesty?
Queen: Yes, I'm getting sick of my son, Prince Charles. Kill him. Execute him, I don't care how. I just never want to see him again!
Rosalyn: As you wish.
(In the woods)
Prince: Where are we going?
Rosalyn: For a walk.
Prince: Isn't this a little far?
Rosalyn: See those flowers up there on that hill? Why don't you pick some for your mother?
Prince: Sure.
Rosalyn: I can't do it!
Prince: What can't you do?
Rosalyn: I can't kill you.
Prince: Why would you want to kill me?
Rrosalyn: Your mother the Queen ordered me to.
Prince: But if I come back alive she'll kill me herself!
Rosalyn: Hmmm, that's it! I'll put you to sleep.
Cast: 100 years later, 200 years later, 300 years later, 400 years later, 500 years later.
Sarah (a young girl walking through the park): (sits in front of the statue of the prince) Oh, I wish he was a real prince.
Prince: Ah! That was a nice nap. What year is it?
Sarah: 1996, why?
Prince: Wow, 500 years!
Sarah: 500 years what?
Prince: 500 years since I was last awake!
Sarah: Yeah... OK... whatever...
Sarah: Hello!
Voice on Phone: Sarah! Sarah! Are you there? Sarah! Sarah!
Sarah: Hey! Give me my phone!
Prince: What is this, magic?
Sarah: It's a phone! Stop, just give it to me! Hello? Hello? Look what you did now! My boss was supposed to call me here and if that was her, I'm obviously fired.
Car Driver: Well, I never. Get out of my way!
Sarah: Please excuse him, he's new here.
Car Driver: Well, next time I'll run him over!
Prince: What was that?
Sarah: That was a car. People drive around in them.
Prince: Where are the horses?
Sarah: What are you talking about?
Boom Box Man: YO! What up with the clothes man? Where do you do your shopping?
Prince: I don't, my servants do it for me.
Boom Box Man: Whatever! (Walks offstage)
Prince: Who was that ?
Sarah: That was my prince! (She walks after him)
Prince: What about me?
Narrator: THE END
(Bell rings as she waves her magic wand. Prince stands frozen with hands held up in the air)
(Each member of the cast comes out and says)
(A bell rings)
(Cellular phone rings.)
(Prince takes the phone and bangs it on the ground.)
(Car comes by, breaks screech)
(Man with green hair, carrying a boom box playing loud rap music, walks on-stage)
Copyright Marjorie Hillocks, The University of Chicago Laboratory Schools May, 1996
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