Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a girl named Rapunzel.
(Rapunzel waves hand) She was beautiful as a red rose because she used Covergirl.
Rapunzel: Stays on you not on him. Covergirl promise!
Narrator: Her hair shown as bright as the sun itself.
Rapunzel: Shine bright!
Narrator: O.K. Rapunzel you can quit it now. She didn't have pimples because she used Clearasil.
Rapunzel: What did somebody put in my hair? It's not a knot, Rapunzel doesn't get knots!
Narrator: Because she used Clearasil.... (Narrator repeats because Rapunzel misses her cue)
Rapunzel: Oh... the choice is clear.
Narrator: The bit is over Rapunzel! Later that day scene 1 take 1 (at the agent's office)
Rapunzel: Hey what do you have for me?
Agent: I've got this great show for you beauties across America. What cha think?
Rapunzel: Oh it'll do, but I'm a little tired from my last shoot, so (Agent stops her in mid air).
Agent: Hey that's show biz.
Rapunzel: What time do you want me?
Agent: Monday 11:00 sharp.
Rapunzel: OK, I'll be there. (Rapunzel starts walking out of the office).
Witch: (Cassandra, an aging actress bumps into Rapunzel) Sorry sweetheart, I didn't see you there. (Walks into agents office and sits at desk) So, Mel, am I still on for Beauties Across America?
Agent: Sorry I just gave it to Rapunzel. She'd be better at it. Anyway the title's called Beauties Across America, you should be on a show called Old Foggies Across America.
Witch: I need a new Agent!
Agent: I don't need you, you old has been. (Witch stomps out)
(Later, in a restaurant)
Rapunzel: No.
Witch: Walk with me and I'll take you where actresses hang out.
Rapunzel: Are there any big actresses like me there?
Witch: Oh, the director of Beauties Across America should be there, Steven Mealberg.
Rapunzel: OK, let's go.
Witch: (to the audience) Finally, she gets what she deserves. (They walk off)
Narrator: Finally, they end up at the H in the Hollywood sign. Scene 2, Take 1.
(They walk back on-stage and stand in front of a huge H)
Rapunzel: Where's everybody else?
Witch: They're probably already in the H sign. Let's go.
Rapunzel: OK. (They climb to the top of the sign)
Witch: Oh, I forgot some sodas in my car, can I go get them?
Rapunzel: OK. Why are you taking the ladder?
Witch: Ha Ha Ha. You'll never get down now Rapunzel! HA!
Rapunzel: (Begins to cry)
Narrator: Monday, 10:55. The Agents office. Scene 3, Take 1.
Agent: Where is she? It's 10:55 in the morning. She was supposed to be here. You are the director, what are you going to do?
Director: She's probably at home getting ready. You should try calling her house.
Agent: Good idea! (After calling) She's not there.
Director: I'll send out flyers.
(Witch enters)
Agent: I don't know.
Witch: You mean she hasn't shown yet?
Agent: No, maybe you should do it.
Witch: Well, Um...
Agent: (Down on knees) Please, Please, Please.
Witch: Well, Um...
Agent: Please come back.
Witch: Well, OK. If it means so much to you.
Agent: Thank you! Thank you!
Narrator: And just like that, she was back in show biz! Back at the H sign, Scene 4, Take 1.
Director: Rapunzel, Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: (Crying)
Director: Hello! Who is it?
Rapunzel: It's me, Rapunzel. That old witch trapped me in the H sign. (She stomps her foot)
Director: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair!
Rapunzel: Are you kidding, I'm not letting anyone climb up my hair.
Director: OK. I'll be back in half an hour with a ladder.
Rapunzel: OK.
Narrator: 30 minutes later, Scene 5, Take 1.
Director: Rapunzel, I'm here and I'm coming up.
Rapunzel: OK.
Narrator: As Rapunzel put on her last drop of Clearasil, she dropped the bottle.
Rapunzel: OOPS, I dropped the bottle.
Director: I'll go down and get it.
Narrator: As the Director climbed down, he slipped on the bottle and got hit in the eye by the cap.
Rapunzel: My fame!
Director: My eye!
Rapunzel: My fortune!
Director: My eye!
Narrator: As Rapunzel wept a teardrop from her eye into his eye (the director stood up)
Rapunzel: You can see!
Director: I can see!
Rapunzel: You can see!
Director: I can see!
Rapunzel: Wow!
Narrator: After the movie was over, it was a smash hit. It was called "Romance In Hollywood". So they walked off into the sunset.
(Rapunzel and director walk offstage)
Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the Agents office, when it was reported that Rapunzel had been saved...
Agent: You're fired (to the witch)
Witch: You can't fire me, I quit! (Witch stomps off after the Agent.)
Narrator: THE END
Witch: Is anybody sitting here?
Witch: So, here we are.
Witch: So, where's your superstar Rapunzel?
Copyright Marjorie Hillocks, The University of Chicago Laboratory Schools May, 1996
| Snow White in Outer Space | Sleeping Handsome | The Frog Princess | Jack and the Dwarf |