On the Same Page

The University of Chicago Laboratory Schools

On the Same Page

February 2004

Lab School Resolutions for 2004: Part II
Resolve to Maintain Respect and Civility

Last month, I referred to a healthy tension that should exist in good schools "finding the right mix between delivery of content and student motivation" or "filling the pail and lighting the fire."

This month, I am addressing an unhealthy behavior that, if allowed to exist in a school organization, will interfere with student learning, decrease employee productivity and morale, and create a lack of confidence among all stake holders. I am referring to disrespectful and uncivil behavior.

Allow me to begin by stating that I have found the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools to be a very caring community in which there is a genuine interest in fulfilling the Schools' mission. This resolution is not written as a reaction to a series of events or because of a historical problem. Instead, my intent is to be proactive, to recognize disrespect as a problem too evident in many areas of our society, and to remind us all to think before we act.

Several years ago in my former employment, I was the recipient of an abusive verbal barrage from a parent that left me shaking. I can only characterize the interaction as uncontrolled rage. Without sharing the details, the parent was incensed that I would not grant an exception to a long established and well-understood practice. How could this person react so violently to a minor inconvenience and embarrass herself in front of a person who listened, politely said "no," and deserved to be treated with respect?

I discussed this incident with the administrative staff and, in return, heard similar bizarre stories involving members of the faculty, other parents, and individuals within the community at large. Our conversation was disturbing to say the least, and we decided to do what all good organizations do to get help—hire a consultant!

Our consultant was helpful in several ways. She was able to facilitate our discussion without becoming emotionally involved and reassured us that our schools were not alone in experiencing an increase in difficult interactions. We learned that as the level of stress increases, so too will aberrant behaviors.

Recognizing that stress is an inescapable part of our world and that teaching children in schools with high expectations and within an entitled community is not without its stressors, we were enlightened by several observations that I found helpful. Paraphrased, here they are:

Facts trump assumptions every time—I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard that organizations need to communicate better. With the future in our classrooms, schools especially need to improve. Realistically speaking, however, we are a people business focused on children and learning, with precious few dollars to communicate as frequently and completely as we should. Therefore, there is an obligation of everyone affiliated with our schools to determine all of the facts before reacting to what are often incomplete and inaccurate assumptions. Experience tells me that there is usually more to a situation than what is initially reported. Those alumni and current students who have had the privilege of being part of our high school journalism program have learned or are learning the importance of getting "the rest of the story."
Policies and rules communicate organizational boundaries—Organizational rules, both good and bad, have existed for centuries in every civilized community. They are created with the intent to maintain order and to communicate expectations. In democratic societies they can be debated and changed if need be. Even when bad rules have evoked civil disobedience, the enforcers of the rules aren't usually the targets. Similarly, we can�t allow a school's rule enforcers to be targets of misplaced anger. Where is there a better place to model appropriate and respectful behavior to our children than between home and school? Those bumper stickers advising a reader to "Question Authority" leave out a key adverb —"Respectfully."
People have boundaries too—Thank goodness we have such a rich variety of people who attend our schools. Our diversity is a strength, of which we are justifiably proud. Just as there are so many obvious surface differences among our population, there are differences not so immediately observable. One of them is sensitivity. Perhaps our sensitivity is heightened the most when the lines of professionalism are confused with individual personal issues. And with our diversity comes different levels of tolerance for those occasional times when our professional or personal boundaries are crossed. Just acknowledging the existence of boundaries in our interactions and being sensitive to how we are perceived is the beginning step in establishing more productive relationships.

Today begins the second month of 2004. How are you doing with your personal New Year's resolutions? Will you own a piece of Lab Schools' Resolutions for 2004?

David W. Magill
Director